3.14.2016

psalm 139 for mamas

You know when I sit down and when I rise up. God knows how busy my days are. He sees the days when I barely have time to relax, when I'm caring for grumpy children, when I'm constantly cleaning after someone, and when I'm rocking a baby between the hours of 2 and 4 in the morning instead of sleeping. You are intimately acquainted with my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, you know it all. He knows how I react. He knows what sets me off. He knows the areas in which I struggle to be patient and react with kindness and grace instead of anger. Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? In my most difficult moments, God is still there. When the kids are being crazy, and I'm winning the Not-So-Greatest-Mom Award, he is there with me. He's always there. He is peace when I am not. I'm human, and I'll fail... but he will never fail me. If I say, "Surely, the darkness will overwhelm me," ...Even the darkness is not dark to you, and the night is as bright as day. When I feel hopeless and I've committed every mommy fail in the book, God is never hopeless! He sees past the dark days. He always has hope for me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Who I am -- as a mother, woman, wife, and daughter of God -- is enough. He created me this way for a reason, and he gives me the power through the Holy Spirit to be transformed. It's a process, and he is patient. In your book were all written the days ordained for me. My vocation as a mommy is on purpose. My children are my ministry. I am to love them with Christ's love and guide them in Jesus' footsteps. And I know this is something I can do with his help, because they are a gift and he has trusted me with them! How precious are your thoughts about me, oh God! How vast the sum of them. From the time he began knitting me together in my own mother's womb, he's thought of my life, my protection, my reconciliation with him through his Son. He loves me as I love my children... more than I could love my children, actually. Search me and know my heart... know my anxious thoughts. He knows all my worries, all my fears. For my children's safety, well-being, development, health. He knows I worry that I am not good enough. He knows me. Who better to trust, than him? Lead me in the everlasting way. He will bless my efforts as a mother and he will lead me as long as I am willing to follow. I know in him, there is peace and fulfillment. In him, I find my rest.

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