11.21.2015

birth

It's interesting, as a woman, to have a "favorite" birth. I guess it's not really something you imagine to label as a favorite... I guess one doesn't really think of labor and birth as something you keep in your heart, something you look back on with fondness. It's just something that happens, right? I mean, many women give birth. Whether it was in their life plan or not, whether they wanted to or not. It doesn't take a "superwoman" to give a child life, does it? It is a daily occurrence -- about 300,000 people are born a day -- in so many different ways. Each with their own story. 300,000 women become mothers. For the first time, for the second time, for the fifth time, for the eighth time. But I can't think of it as just birth. It's something deep. Spiritual, even. A release, a trust, a letting go. A new life coming in to the world.

Like every birth of every child, each of my children's stories are so unique and I love to think about them. I love to share them. I enjoy pondering how they changed me, what they taught me. The unexpected turns, my thought process about what was happening versus what my body was actually doing. I am fascinated by the process of birth, how unique each story is, how unpredictable and surprising they all were, and I feel lucky to have been able to experience birth, the fullness of it, with every nerve and muscle in my body. It's a powerful, humbling thing. I will say I have only had positive experiences. My body gives birth fast. It isn't damaged by birth. My children have all been born whole and healthy. I have a lot to be grateful for.

Just some thoughts rolling through my mind as I will myself to wrap up the story of Chase's birth. I'm having a hard time doing so, and I think because it is so precious to me (as they all are), I want to keep it for myself. I'll share it someday... I know I will. But right now does not yet feel like the time. The days pass, but I'm not really sure when it will feel like the time.

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