night routine HALP

Okay y'all, I need some serious mom input here.

Chase is such an easy baby that the only thing that has so far completely BAFFLED and overwhelmed me about having three kids is the damn bedtime routine! Moms of three or more... I need help. Nine nights out of ten, John works late and is not home to help me, so having his help is not an option.

I have been so patient with my kids during the day lately, but I still turn into the Hulk at night time, because I get SO frustrated. The whole thing takes about an hour and a half and by the time I finally collapse on the couch, I am just DONE. Ironically enough, I also do my Bible reading at night and that's when I explode into Scary Mommy. Heh.

Obviously, everything we do here is needed, otherwise it wouldn't be involved. Chase needs a bedtime routine because she's such a horrible sleeper, and it helps, at least a little bit. So here's our ridiculous and lengthy routine:

Kids take a shower, put on PJS
Give Chase a bath, kids brush teeth/drink water
Kids pick out books (and usually fight) while I:
Put PJs on Chase 
Read books
Put Chase to bed

20 minutes later I emerge to the children fighting and with a messy room. Sure, I can tell them to pick out their books and sit angelically in their beds until I'm done, but it doesn't work that way. Then we proceed to:

Clean their room
Pick out clothes for tomorrow
Argue about what books I'm going to read
Read two books
Have quiet book time for ten minutes
Hugs and kisses
Lights out

Then I:

Collapse on couch
Cry (okay, not every night ;) )
Get out my Bible 
Calmly remind kids to be quiet in bed
Eventually scream at kids for talking/fighting/playing when they should be falling asleep
Feel super bad
Collapse on couch again 
Chase wakes up crying
I cry and then go nurse her back to sleep

I feel completely inadequate and at a loss with what to do at night. If you have any realistic tips, please help me!

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