love wins

Normally I steer away from anything political or too sensitive on my blog. But since it's not what it once was and continues to grow into something more personal, more from my heart, I'm not afraid to share my view. I don't think I'll scare anyone away, as I don't imagine there are too many people still listening. For the people in my life who do listen, they can take what they will. I'm not forcing my friendship upon anyone. God knows my heart and I don't need the approval of others. I don't say this in a bitter way, but in a practical way.

I'm afraid of being judged by certain people if I say anything about yesterday -- judged as less of a Christian, or as not really having a strong relationship with Christ, as not being taken seriously as a Christian -- but it only makes me aware that if I feel this judged by simply supporting gay marriage, how much more do gay people feel ostracized by Christian communities? Are we a religion of love or of judgment? Ah well. I don't know if I'll ever not feel judged by other Christians. I wish I didn't care, but in truth, I do. I care deeply.

I ask if banning gay marriage does any good. Does it bring any life? Or does it destroy? Will it prevent gay people from living a gay lifestyle? How many gay people would be prevented from spousal or parental rights concerning the people they love if gay marriage were to remain illegal? These are real people, real families who suffer the consequences. For those that say it is destroying marriage -- is your Christian marriage sanctioned by God anyway? Does gay marriage affect God's view of your marriage to your spouse? For those who have to explain to your children -- did you not have to explain before? Do you not have the words to speak to your children about your morals, your values, sin, death, life? For those who believe we are in a downward spiral -- I honestly cannot believe that people think this society as a whole was less sinful 50, 100, 1,000 years ago. Look at history. We just flip flop. We grow better in some areas, we become more aware (women's suffrage, the Civil Rights movement), we change. We better in one place, we become deeper in sin in others. Evil exists in the world, it always has. There will always be avenues (pornography, human trafficking, slavery, racism) and in my eyes, gay marriage is a lesser evil.

But then, I don't believe gay marriage, or the gay lifestyle, and certainly not being gay, to be evil.

I know. Gape. Be disgusted. I am in between wanting to apologize, and feeling as though I should offer no apology. I love people who are gay. I love people with gay daughters, gay mothers, gay grandmothers, gay brothers, gay best friends. There's a whole lot of love, a shining, bright empathy that I cannot cover with religion. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe God shakes his head at me. I'm just glad the issue isn't more personal to me -- I'm glad that I was not born gay, because then I would have some heavy decisions to make. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be gay and be a Christian.

People who cannot place themselves in the shoes of these families, people who cannot believe that two men or two women can love one another (I am not talking about a physical affection, sex, or lust) -- they are severely lacking in empathy and there is nothing I can say to them. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it feels harsh. It makes me sad, terribly sad. If someone can stir up enough empathy to imagine the family dynamic, the love, in a realistic way, I don't understand how they can continue to close their minds. I am not asking that people agree with a gay lifestyle. I am not asking you to change your stance on whether or not it is a sin and displeasing to God. Continue to believe what you believe -- no one is putting a gun to your head and asking you to proclaim different. I am simply asking for empathy, love, and an open mind.

I hear all the time that all sins are equal. I won't go into it, but theologically, I do not believe this. I have my reasons, you may question them and try to get me to believe differently (or maybe this changes your opinion of me as a Christian even further), but my belief is an educated and studied one.

That said, I see Christians (namely, some branches of Protestantism) who believe that all sin is equal ironically treating some sins as very, very different. Obviously, we are all sinners, we all do immoral things, but then everyone loses their shit when gay people are given the right to marry the person they love. I don't understand it. After all, I don't see people taking a stance on gluttony, greed, dishonesty, or materialism in the name of Christ.

I can't say whether I personally believe the gay lifestyle is a sin. Yes, I know what the Bible says. The Bible also says women must cover their heads, not cut their hair, and cannot speak in church.

I also know that the Bible says God is love. That he who is without sit can cast the first stone. That Jesus came not to condemn, but to save.  That there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female.

My thinking is, when you look at all the other sins, they are all done out of hate and greed and selfishness. Everything. Loving someone -- how can that ever be a sin? I have prayed and prayed about it and can't shake my own empathy. If it's a sin, then I guess I'm wrong. But there's nothing I can do or say to change anyone, and if any of my children were to ever tell me they are gay someday, I will continue to love them and accept them as I ever would. And the God I love loves gay people, and I think the attitude and hate towards gay people saddens his heart a lot more than gay marriage does.

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