from co-sleeping to alone sleeping

I always planned on co-sleeping with River. Then he was born and quickly proved to be the Worst Sleeper Ever. We tried many things to get him to sleep better, but eventually I stopped trying to fight it and exclusive bed-sharing and frequent nightly nursing sessions became the norm. It stayed like this until I night-weaned him at 18 months old, and then he slept great at night, while still co-sleeping. A few weeks before Austen was born, we tried to get him used to sleeping in his own bed. There were a lot of teary nights, and most of the time he would wake up and want to move to our bed, and so we let him. I wasn't exactly sure how bed-sharing with two children was going to be, but it wasn't a huge concern to me. I knew it was something that would work itself out and that we would find something comfortable for all of us. Surprisingly enough, co-sleeping with two kids in a queen size bed wasn't bad. Our sleeping arrangement might be a little unconventional, but it works, and we all enjoy it.

River is older and more confident and understanding of different situations, and when he turned the big 3, it felt like a good time to introduce him to his own bed in his own room. There were some frustrating nights when we would have to put him back in his bed repeatedly before he finally fell asleep, and some nights when he cried for a bit before falling asleep; however, it went surprisingly smooth for the most part. Here are a few things that made it a smooth transition:

- I make sure he knows what to expect. While it's impossible for every night to be exactly the same due to my husband's work schedule and the fact that we only have one car, I try to keep a routine. After dinner, he and Austen take their bath. He gets to pick out what pajamas he'd like to wear. We brush teeth while singing the ABCs. He picks out about three or four books for me to read to him. What we do is more important than when we do it. Sometimes his bedtime is at seven, sometimes it's at ten, but most of the time it's around 8:30.
- After I read to him and before I leave the room, a lot of talking happens. We talk about what we did that day. Funny things that happened, sad things that happened, embarrassing or sweet or interesting things. Lots of descriptive words and lots of questions. I tell him things that he did that made me proud and happy. We talk about tomorrow: what are we going to do? Where are we going? What are we going to eat for breakfast? I tell him I am really proud of him for sleeping in his own bed, that he is such a big boy. I talk about his blanket, his bed, and his cool PJs and his colorful pillows. I tell him I will be right in the living room and I'll see him in the morning.
- I use positive language. This is something that is actually really tough and takes a lot of practice before it becomes a habit. Most parents, myself included, want to make sure children know what not to do, when really, we should be telling them what we do want them to do. This is something I've found very helpful from the book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, by Becky A. Baily, Ph.D. (Seriously, it is an awesome book! It has helped tremendously the past couple months, not just with River, but with myself, as well. Get it on Amazon for about ten bucks.) For example, instead of telling him, "Don't get out of bed. Don't turn on your light. Don't make loud noises," I tell him, "Stay in bed. The light stays off. Please be quiet, because it's time to sleep." I speak to him in a soft, whispery voice, even when I get frustrated with him, which demonstrates how I want him to behave.
- When he gets up repeatedly, I simply pick him up and put him back in bed. I explain to him with very short and sweet words that it is bed-time and he is to stay in bed. He is old enough now and understands enough that crying a bit is okay. I know the difference between his annoyed, disappointed cry, and his distressed, overwhelmed cry. If I do feel he is too distressed and overwhelmed, I will spend some more time with him, sitting on his bed and scratching his back to help him settle. Though, ultimately, I want him to learn to fall asleep when I am out of the room. So far we haven't had a night where he has become distressed. If we do, how he is handling the situation emotionally will come first, before getting him to sleep alone. Sometimes littles just need to be with their mamas.

Doing all of this ensured the transition from co-sleeping with his family to sleeping in his own bed in his own room is a peaceful one. It has been an (almost) tear-free journey, and although he is sleeping in a way to which he is completely new, it was hardly a bump on the road. You can hardly tell he's never slept alone before! We shared sleep with our sweet boy for three years, and I have no regrets. I never paid attention to the opinions of others when it comes to our children sleeping in our bed. We all knew when the time came for him to move to his own bed, and I'm glad we waited until he was ready.

DIY bird mobile

I made these little birds two and a half years ago. They've lived in three different houses, they've been 

played with and chewed on and cooked into soup by a toddler, and I finally decided 

to use them to make something pretty.

So I gathered a little thread.

And a little toddler.

And I put the toddler to work. This was actually a great project for River. He loved it and 

wanted to keep threading beads after we were finished with the mobile.

Smaller beads and fishing line would have probably been a better choice. But we're happy 

with our little bird mobile, and we can always take it apart and change things up if we want.

three.

Energetic. Silly. Goofy. Funny. Sweet. Caring. Friendly. Outgoing. Talkative. Engaging. Wild. Excited. Curious. Explorer. Risk-taker. Climber. Adventurer. Creative. Dancer. Singer. Reader. Painter. Animal-lover. Fixer. Helper. Adorable. Appreciative. Empathetic. Compassionate.  

With each of these gifts of your character that come to mind when I think of you, my sweet boy, is a picture or story of that demonstrates who you are. I love every bit of who you are. Even the parts that make me crazy sometimes.

Sometimes you climb so high, I think I'm going to have a heart attack, but I am so proud of you for being brave. There are only two times I can remember seeing you really scared -- once, when a motorcycle unexpectedly revved its engine nearby, and when you went on your first roller coaster ride last month at the fair. How I wanted to scoop you up in my arms, as you cried for me! ~ You are so captured by nature, it makes my heart skip a beat and remember what it's like to be a child in the mystery that is the trees and the tall grass and the shadows and the earth. ~ Sometimes you poke your sister to see what she'll do, or you get frustrated that she plays with your toys, and you push her away. But most of the time, you are cuddling her, talking sweet to her, playing gently with her. I've always wanted my children to be best friends, and I think it's happening right before my eyes. ~ You still love bath time as much as you did when you were three days old, and you fell asleep in the warm bath as mommy swayed you back and forth in the water -- now you're three, and often, it will just occur to you at 2 or 3 in the afternoon that you really, really want to take a bath, and you'll start removing all your clothes. ~ You love to jump and run and pretend you are a super hero. You don't watch super hero shows, so I don't know you if you know what a super hero really is. But as far as you are concerned, they wear capes and masks and run really fast, and that is totally cool. ~ You love watching people break dance, and you try to break dance too. Keep trying, and someday you will. ~ You know fully the goodness of sweets now, and I fear you have my sweet tooth. Since your birthday party, you've asked for candy for breakfast every day. For the record, I've never given you candy for breakfast. ~ Sometimes you get embarrassed. Like today, at the grocery store, when you tried to push your little cart to the cashier and you fell and your cart fell and all the strawberries and blueberries tumbled out. Three people came to your rescue and the cashier offered you stickers, but you just held me and cried and cried. I felt so bad for you. ~ You still love books, and lately you've been asking me to teach you how to read. I keep telling you I have to learn how to teach you first (which means reading the introduction to the teaching manual) and then I'll teach you. Soon enough, my big kid, and you'll be reading books to me.

Two was quite a year for you. There were so many changes. Sometimes I expected too much from you, at such a tender age. Mommy was really moody, and then all of a sudden, I had another baby to love (not just you anymore) and then I was even more moody. Then we sent your little life into more of a whirlwind by selling practically everything we own and moving 2,000 miles away -- away from your best friend and a lot of your family, to a new town, where we had to explain to you that everyone else was "too far away" to visit, that they were in Texas and that we lived in Washington, now. Such a big leap! Such a huge thing to explain to a baby!

Some days were really hard, River. You went from being a tiny baby to a big boy with opinions and ideas. It took some getting used to, for both of us. But you know what happened every single day you were two? Every single day, I enjoyed being your mommy. Every single day, you made my day brighter. Every single day, I realized how bored and lonely and empty I would feel if it weren't for you.

You made me a mommy. You changed my life. You showed me a kind of love that I didn't even know existed before you came into my life. You, tiny you. I am so thankful for you.

I am thankful for the way you wake up in the morning. You've always been a morning person. So sweet and kissable and ready for the day, right away. No time to snooze! No time to waste yawning and stretching! Hop to it! It's time for breakfast... it's time to read books... Where are we going today, Mama? Can I wear my pirate shirt, Mama? Can I take a bath, Mama? To you, there are just too many wonderful things to do in a day, and you are excited to greet each day.

I am thankful for the way you care for people. Today at the park, you were playing with a little boy whose family was setting up for his birthday party, and when he had to go to time-out, you told his daddy "But it's his birfday!" Today at the mall, you took Austen's stroller from me ("I have to push my sister," you said) as I was looking at racks of shirts, and Daddy and I watched as you clumsily pushed her over to the shoes, and showed her the different pairs, and talked to her, and made her laugh. Today, at the restaurant after we ate dinner, you told me, "I had fun wif you today, Mama!" You think about how others feel, and ways to make them happy. You beam with pride when I tell you you're such a sweet brother, or thank you for helping me put the clothes in the dryer, or that it made me so happy that you were kind and polite to a stranger.

I am thankful for the way you release your energy into dancing, and how you turn everything into a song, because I love watching and listening and cheering you on! For you, the most fun thing about a trip to the mall is going from store to store to hear what kind of music they're playing, and then to start dancing around. It makes everyone laugh -- you are SUCH a ham! And sometimes, at the end of a really busy day, we'll sing a song about our day, starting from the beginning. About how we tooooook Daddy to woooorrrrkkk, and then went to the paaarrrrrkkkk, and then the libraryeeeeeee. You have rhythm and great pitch and you resolve melodies when we sing together and it makes me so proud.

I am thankful for everything about you. Your personality makes you unique, and your love makes you beautiful. God knew just what he was doing when he created you. I can't wait to see where life takes you. I pray a lot of things for you.

That you will be wise. 

Hardworking. 

Compassionate. 

Selfless. 

Giving. 

Unafraid. 

Humble.
Patient.

Forgiving.

That you will respect yourself.

That you will love Jesus with your whole heart.

I know you are going to do amazing things someday. What am I talking about? You've already done amazing things. Your life has purpose and beauty and you don't even know how many people you've made happy and full of love. You have made me a better person, little boy. You have made me stronger and more confident and more joyful and more in awe of God. You'll never know how much I love you, River. Thank you for being my wonderful little boy for three whole years.

river's superhero birthday party!

I am not a planning person. I can't even ice a cake. I can make some rockin' pom poms out of tissue paper, and I can make decent designs on Photoshop. I am disorganized, easily stressed, and slightly crafty. So I go from there.

With the powers of photoshop and slight craftiness combined, I put together a fun third birthday party for River. Is there a superhero power for pinning things on Pinterest? 'Cause I knocked that one out, too.

Grapes, cantaloupe, and strawberries with vanilla yogurt to dip, chicken salad, crackers, pepperoni, and cheese, and chips and salsa -- each to give our little superheroes a power of "super strength" or "invisibility" or "super speed."

Capes and felt masks for proper disguises.

I made the cake by designing sound effects on Photoshop & printing them on card stock, cutting them to size, slapping some hot glue and skewers to the backs, and sticking them in. It made for one super-easy super hero cake! (All I want to do when I look at this picture is fix those two fallen M&Ms.) Remember how I said I can't ice cakes? About two minutes into this one, I was all, "Mom! I can't do this! Help!" So I can't really take credit for that part. (I know, I KNOW. I'm domestically challenged.)

Watching the kids play Pin the Sign on the Superhero was awesome. They were so terrible at it, it was possibly the best part of the afternoon. That, or when the pinata was decapitated.

I mean, how cute is this?!

Time for candles!

Time for cake... and buttery, sugary frosting... I had two slices.

James brought the elephant pinata all the way from our hometown, San Antonio!

We set the kids up for a picture all together before we went inside for presents, but with 9 kids, you can imagine how it went. River was like, "Whatever, I'm outta here." Ethan wins for best superhero pose.

'sup, summer

Two months into "summer," Summer decided to show up. Last week we had a few 90-degree weather days. I spent the first afternoon lying around lazily with Austen. Our apartment doesn't have air conditioning, but compared to the Texas summer heat we suffered (YES SUFFERED OKAY) last year, I was NOT about to complain. So I just sat. And drank water. And blew on Austen's ringlets to try to cool her off. And told River to watch Netflix. I thought about going outside. Oh yes, I thought long and hard, lying in that bed with Austen.

Eventually, I did get up and we spent a good, long time reading books. Or rather, River and I read books while Austen clobbered, tackled, pinched, and bit me, while also managing to want every single book we had in our hands, despite the nice selection of age-appropriate books on the lower shelf. Needless to say, there were a lot of soggy book corners and wrinkled pages after story time. It was rough.

Story time was also interrupted for a little hair-brushing session. (I melted when I saw her do this!)

The next few days were hottish, but not too hot, so we did manage to play outside. I always feel guilty when I don't let the kids play. It's not as relaxing as you may think, from these nice, quiet, calm pictures. My children are not quiet or calm, and they do things like jump from high places and eat tree bark and perform impressive disappearing acts. So outside time means I am constantly darting my eyes one way or the other, making sure my kids don't kill themselves.

Sister gazed longingly as brother slid and swung. Well, girl, maybe if you didn't try to eat everything in sight. Someday, you will be a big kid too, playing with your brother without stuffing pieces of bark down your throat.

River was so sweet to a little girl who was also playing on the playground. "You munt to share my car? You can go on my car! Go on da sidewalk." When the little girl, who was probably barely two, managed to pull his car across the grass to a sidewalk, he leaned over with his hands on his knees and squealed, "Good job! You did it!" in his most encouraging voice. My boy... I am more in love with the sweetness of this child every day!

Boy, when he jumps, he is a super hero. It is his most favorite thing ever. I can just tell him, "Go jump off of that thing over there.." and he would willingly oblige, over and over and over. The heights from which he jump keep getting higher and higher!

Eventually I gave in to Austen's puppy dog eyes (and twisting and arching and screeching) and let her play in the grass. She ate a handful of dirt.

Man, I am not ready for summer to end. I feel like I got cheated. Summer in Olympia is gorgeous, like the two weeks of the fresh, green springtime we get in San Antonio in March. I found myself kind of missing those can't-breath-when-I-step-outside, my-car-is-a-freaking-oven, blindingly hot, face-melting Texas days.

Kind of.

I know winter will be here too soon. And by winter, I mean rain every day for months from October to May. Whatevs, we are going to make it an awesome rainy fallwinterspring.

And in case I don't give you enough "real-life" moments, here's a nice picture of my son snatching something away from his sister and poking her in the eye in the process. She survived.