4 reasons why i hate talking on the phone
Please don't take this title to mean "Why I Hate (Insert Your Name Here)." I swear, it's only the phone I hate. It is actually a really bad thing, because it means that I don't often talk to people I love. And I live far away from practically everyone I love. The only person I do not mind talking to on the phone* is my mom, and now I live two miles from her. So, I never talk to anyone on the phone. I did not use to hate talking on the phone. When I was a teen, I could talk to my best friend for hours. Why do I hate talking on the phone now? Funny you should ask.
1. I'm an introvert. Awkward silence will be the death of me.
2. I have kids. Kids are loud. And they talk a lot. And I don't hear very well. When you say, "Yeah, I've been good. We're moving to Alaska in a few weeks and I have to get my molars taken out and my favorite television show is Sister Wives," what I hear is, "Yeah, I've been Austen don't do dat. We're moving to my wocking horse in a few mama do you munt some eggs and I have to my can I have molars taken some juice and I want to favorite television do it myself is Sister Wives."
3. I never get any time to myself. The last thing I want to do when the kids are finally asleep and the house is quiet is listen to someone else talking to me. I'm sorry, was that mean? No, but seriously. I want to put on my PJs, grab a book, and pretend no one else exists until I hear Austen yelling for me to come nurse her.
4. The moment I divert my attention from the toddler, he finds something naughty to do. Yesterday morning, immediately after my husband left for work, he called me to tell me something really quick. In the two minutes we were on the phone, River tried to pick up Austen, bopped me on the head with a plastic bottle, moved a chair to the kitchen to try to reach something on the counter, opened the fridge and took out the egg carton, tested out the computer power button, and knocked my guitar over. All I could do when I hung up with my husband was plop onto a chair, exhausted, and vow never to answer the phone again.
So uh, I have to return calls to about three people. Maybe I'll do that today. Or maybe.... I won't...
*Okay, maybe this is a lie. Once I'm on the phone with a friend, I enjoy our conversation. I would just much rather talk face-to-face. You feel me?