mama highlight - sara: feeding healthy kids in an unhealthy world

i didn't really have to worry about what river ate until he was 18 months old! feeding him was easy. he liked four things: eggs, grapes, bananas, and blueberries. we avoided sweets and junk, and he survived and thrived almost entirely off of my breastmilk. now that he is weaned and depends on solid foods to keep him healthy and growing, i have to pay more attention to what he eats and doesn't eat. he is very aware of what is in the house -- he sees a bag a chips, and immediately wants a chip! how does he know? i have no idea. not only do we have to be careful of what we eat around him, but we have to watch what's in the house, period! he often goes to the refrigerator or pantry and helps himself to what's eye-level. the other morning he chose a stick of butter for breakfast, and came toddling into our room, taking bites out of it like it was a banana.

one of my favorite websites to read about food and healthy eating is sara janssen's blog happy foody. sara has two girls, lucy, who is two, and bella, seven. i've always admired how commitment she is to feeding her family wholesome, simple, yet creative meals. i wondered how she gets her girls to down big glasses of green smoothies and how she handles keeping them eating healthy when we are surrounded by fast food restaurants on every corner, and influenced by the junk food on every shelf at the grocery store. i asked her a few questions, and love what she has to say about feeding kids healthy foods.


What does "a day in the life of Bella and Lucy" look like in terms of meals?
Every day is different! But here is an example of what we like:
Breakfast: Oatmeal topped with almond milk + walnuts + brown sugar --OR-- eggs and whole grain toast --OR--whole grain pancakes and 'real' maple syrup.
Snack: Goat milk yogurt or gluten free crackers and raw cheddar goat cheese
Lunch: Hummus + avocado wrap with cucumber
Snack: Homemade trail mix (raw sunflower seeds + pumpkin seeds + organic raisins) or Oatmeal bars and fresh fruit.
Supper: Veggie curry + brown rice

gluten-free pancakes, yummm. photo courtesy of sara janssen and blogged about here.

What decisions have you made concerning their diet that are a little unconventional, according to our society's standards?
We are vegetarian and try to avoid dairy, food colorings, trans fats, and preservatives. Those things alone make us pretty unconventional. :)

Have you ever received criticism about these decisions?
Of course! Anytime you make decisions that are different than someone else, there is the potential for them to feel like you are judging them. They might say things that seem critical, when in reality it's just them questioning what they are doing in their own life and working through it.

How do you handle eating in social settings, like birthday parties? For instance, do your girls eat cake and ice cream and snacks with the rest of the kids? 
Yes, when we're out and about, Bella eats what she wants (except for meat). Lucy doesn't eat dairy, but we do allow her some treats. It's never excessive and we still try to avoid colorings and such.

I really do believe that if you completely restrict a child's diet to the point of obsession...they will revolt against that when they get out in the "real world". The best way to ensure children will make those decisions on their own is to educate them and then give them freedom! Sometimes they will make good decisions, and sometimes they will indulge. Just like adults!

photo courtesy of sara janssen and blogged about here.

What are some tips you have for getting kids to eat healthy in an unhealthy world?
Change starts at HOME! Kids will eat whatever their parents are eating, almost without fail. To truly make a change in habits, all harmful foods need to be completely removed from the house. When healthy foods are the only option for the entire family, it's easy to make good choices!

Keep offering healthy food, even if it's rejected at first. Work hard to find nourishing foods that they truly ENJOY! Bring them shopping with you and have them pick out their top 3 favorite fruits!

Find substitutes for their unhealthy favorites and GO SLOW! Don't try to go cold turkey...it's possible to have severe withdrawal symptoms from removing sugar from the diet.

If they love pop, replace it slowly with something like Izze or another carbonated sweetened juice. Then try going to unsweetened flavored iced teas.

photo courtesy of sara janssen, and blogged here.

sara wrote one of my favorite articles about kids and food. be sure to check out sara's blogs happy foody and walk slowly, live wildly for more healthy eating and simple living inspiration!

hooray for decorating!

i've never really had my home decorated. we don't have money to go out and buy everything i dream of, even the little things. it adds up! but i am finally on my way to decorating river's room (and the rest of the house, very slowly, not so surely). decorating river's room has got to be the most fun. when he was about four months old, i cleaned out our second room in our old apartment and decorated a nursery for him. it was pretty and sweet, and nice to have a bright, sunny room in which to play with him and know that it was 100% baby-proof. but it turned out to be pretty pointless, as we co-sleep, he didn't have a lot of toys, and i rarely used the changing table (that we found on craigslist nearly brand-new for $20, and later re-sold on craigslist for $25). eventually, our crib (that we rarely used) broke, and that was our cue -- out went the baby stuff and in went our desks, computers, art supplies, and music gear that needed to be out of a curious baby's grasp anyway.

now that he's older and we have three rooms in our house, river gets his own room once again. it is mainly a place for his clothes, diapers, and toys to dwell, but i'm not sure how the sleeping situation with the new baby will work out. ideally, i'd like to have him sleeping in his own bed, but i don't know yet if i am even going to try! (and i would miss snuggling with him at night :) also, with the new baby coming, i need more storage for more baby clothes. if it's a boy, we really don't need much of anything more than some infant and small diaper covers. if it's a girl, well, make way for cute girl clothes in every shade of pink imaginable.

i've finally organized his things and gotten rid of a lot of stuff. here was my to-do list at the beginning, and what i've already done is crossed out:

- paint the walls
- paint the dresser
- make a white t-shirt rug or buy one for a good deal
- hang something pretty from the ceiling
- make the black bookcase prettier
- finish the bird mobile
- make bedding
- hang white shelves
- purchase his name in alphabetty monster art
- find a lamp shade for the white vintage lamp

and the "before" pictures i took in january. it looks quite different now.

the end of our breastfeeding journey

The last time I nursed River was about three weeks ago. We were at a restaurant with some friends, it was late, and he was exhausted and cranky. So I nursed him. Something I hadn’t done in about five days. Then I let him fall asleep. Something I hadn’t let him do in about two months. I always loved nursing my baby to sleep. His sweet sleeping face, his loose jaw lazily nursing still. Even at 19 months, his chin still fluttered every now and then.

To be honest, I loved most everything about breastfeeding. I loved the milky smiles -- I think every breastfeeding mama can agree with that. What’s sweeter than giving your child the best nourishment, and have them gaze up at you and grin lovingly? I also loved how he only wanted to nurse if he was sad, or scared, or hurt. He would come to me. I was his comfort. It’s a mutual enjoyment. Something only you can give to your baby. Such a special bond.


I remember reading an article when River was about six months old about a mom and the last time she nursed her three year old. She said everything about nursing was bothering her. The things her daughter did when she nursed aggravated her -- how she played with a mole under her arm, the way her teeth felt while she nursed, the way she wiggled and squirmed and hummed. I didn’t get it. Breastfeeding is beautiful! I love everything my baby does when he nurses! I couldn’t imagine feeling that way toward my child as he nursed.

But that’s exactly how I felt when I got pregnant. I found out I was pregnant in February, when River was 18 months old. He was still waking 2-3 times during the night to nurse, but as soon as we went on our trip to Pittsburgh, he started waking up nearly every hour. Thanks to first-trimester, suddenly my boobs hurt, I was throwing up every morning, on the sleep schedule of an infant, and a teary, emotional, impatient mess the rest of the time. I knew I had to night-wean.

nursing an 18 months old at 11 weeks pregnant.

I was seriously considering night-weaning shortly after his first birthday, but I knew -- I just knew -- it wasn’t the right time. I started by not nursing him to sleep, which I had never done. He was not one to be carried, snuggled, or rocked to sleep. The first night was a surprise. He cried and fussed quite unconvincingly for about ten minutes before he found a comfortable position on my chest (ahem, quite uncomfortable for me) and eventually dozed to sleep after a considerable amount of squirming. I was elated. The second night was a different story. This time I only let him cry for about five minutes -- but he got so hysterical he almost threw up. I couldn’t do this to my baby. So I nursed him to sleep and accepted that it was not the right time. Luckily, that’s around the time he stopped waking up as often during the night, and that was good enough for me.

A friend told me about Dr. Jay Gordon’s method for gentle night-weaning, and I liked that he was very pro-attachment parenting and that his technique for night-weaning was in line with that philosophy. Since we had been “practicing” going to sleep without nursing, I decided to go straight into refusing to nurse in the middle of the night during a seven-hour stretch.

The first night was rough. I didn’t think morning would ever come. The first time he woke up to nurse, he cried off and on for forty-five minutes. We co-sleep, so I was with him the entire time and he was never left alone. The second time he woke that night was not memorable enough for me toremember exactly how it went, but it wasn’t nearly as long as the first time. The second night was much more promising. This time he only cried for fifteen minutes the first time, and the next few times he woke up were only minutes long. The third night, he woke up once, fussed for a bit, and snuggled to sleep. Each morning at around five o’clock, he would nurse once before finally getting up at around seven thirty.

Just as I was thinking things were going smoothly and I was luckiest person alive, we had a major setback on the fourth night. I was not expecting this, but apparently it's common when night-weaning to kind of take two steps forward, one (or three, or five) steps back. This time, he cried off and on for nearly two and a half hours. I was exhausted and grumpy and nauseous and I finally lost it. I yelled at him, I cried and gritted my teeth, and I think I even threw his sippy cup across the room. I had fallen over the edge. I felt like a failure as a mother for absolutely losing my patience with him, especially during a time that was as hard (or harder) for him as it was for me. It was more than I could handle. I called John, sobbing, and told him what a bad mom I was. He talked with me for a good while, assuring me I wasn't the worst mother on the planet (because in those moments, you truly believe you are). Then I snuggled and kissed River, told him over and over mommy was so sorry, and nursed him to sleep then and every time he woke up that night. I woke the next day, thankful the night was over, but wondering if I had ruined the entire thing by nursing him all night.

Not so; surprisingly, the next night went smoothly, and within a week he was waking only once or twice a night to ask to nurse, and readily snuggled to sleep instead. In a month, he was sleeping through the night completely, and stopped waking to nurse in the early morning. He was still nursing just as much during the day, but I quickly decided to start nursing less during the day. Because he wasn’t getting the calories during the night through my breastmilk, he was eating much more during the day, and was more willing to play or color or read books instead of nursing. Even though I still hadn’t planned on weaning completely, I realized that’s what I was doing. The idea of weaning him was so strange. Even as I was doing it, I could hardly believe it. Just the word -- weaning -- seemed out of place.

But it happened so gradually, so painlessly, that we both hardly noticed. I never felt guilty about weaning him before two years. There were a few times when I thought, I can’t believe we’re actually weaning. I can’t believe he’s done nursing. I can’t believe I’ll look back and say, our breastfeeding journey ended when he was 20 months old. It was bittersweet, and it was the right time. Maybe more for mama than for baby, but I was at the point where if I had continued to nurse him, I think it would have become harmful to our relationship. On top with the physical feelings of being in my first trimester, emotionally, I was feeling overwhelmed and over-touched, and in a way, felt that I had to get my body ready for the new child that would receive nourishment from my body -- now in my womb, and at my breast in five months. I also felt that I needed a break. I hadn’t worn a dress or a strapless top in almost two years!

River was an avid nurser and it was such a big part of our relationship, I won’t be surprised if he wants to start nursing again when the baby is born. At this point, I can assume that will be fine with me, but I really can’t say whether I will let him right away. I may need time to establish breastfeeding with the babe, or I may just feel too overwhelmed. I’ve always thought tandem nursing was a beautiful thing but never put it on myself as something I had to do. I think it’s important for a mama to take care of herself, too. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself first, in order for your child to have the healthiest childhood.

I’m glad the last time we nursed went the way it did. I remember being surprised he fell asleep, and I felt all of the sweet, positive emotions of nursing him before I was pregnant. I don’t think I’ll ever forget. In a way I'm very proud. I was nursing a toddler. A walking, talking, running, active, mischievous toddler. Until he was 18 months old, he was literally not only surviving, but thriving on my breastmilk alone (besides the occasional snack here and there). Twenty months... that's a long time. Not as long as I'd hoped, but a good, long while.

nursing at around sixteen months old.

in the ring: pockets vs. prefolds

Now, we all know everyone has their own opinion about which cloth diapers are best. You never really know how a diaper is going to work for you until you’ve tried it. What works great for one baby may be a disaster for another. Nine months into cloth diapering, I had never even seen a pocket diaper, and had regularly been using only prefolds and covers. Many friends of mine, and many women on various cloth diapering online communities, have chosen prefolds and covers as their favorite go-to diaper, and so I stuck to what I had. It’s taken a long time to build up my stash, but now that I have experience with both prefolds and pockets, I’m going to give you my take on what is my favorite and why.

Prefold cons: 

• They take practice. It can be very difficult to Snappi or pin a prefold on a very wiggly baby (believe me), however, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. It only took me a couple tries to get it, but it did take me a couple weeks until I finally felt comfortable and could adjust a Snappi in a snap. ;) 
• Prefolds are a bit bulky and give your infant baby a giant (and very cute) cloth butt, but that’s just something you get over. River has grown into his prefolds and they no longer look funny on him. 
• Sometimes when baby poops, the poop gets all in the folds and if you don’t have a diaper sprayer, you have to get down and dirty and get in there to get all the chunks off. (Forgive me for the mental image I know I just gave you.) 
• When using prefolds with covers, you must make sure everything is tucked in really well, so that nothing wicks out. You learn quickly (and through many changes of clothes) to watch for this. 
• For some reason, I have prefolds that were just a few months old when they started tearing – I have no idea why, but my theory is either the spin cycle on our new used washer was too intense, or the velcro from a cover tore the fabric, or a Snappi was washed with the diapers and ate it up. In any case, this made me very sad, and I have had to throw these diapers away. 
• A simple prefold and cover will normally not suffice for night wetting.

Prefold pros: 

• One of the best things about prefolds is how affordable they are. One could spend about $100 for four dozen diapers in two different sizes, and another $100 for 6 to 8 one-size PUL covers, and you have an entire stash that will last until potty training. Used prefolds are very affordable – I once bought ten prefolds for a dollar each, practically doubling my stash at the time with a lunch’s worth of money. In my own personal experience, I bought River’s prefolds from Green Mountain Diapers and two Thirsties Duo Wraps in size two when he was four months old, and today at 21 months old, all of these still fit him with room to spare. 
• Despite needing a little time to practice using a Snappi or pins, it’s really not that difficult. Yes, it takes practice, but once you get the hang of it, it’s simple. In fact, I don’t even use Snappis anymore. I just tri-fold the diaper and stick it snuggly in the cover, folding it over if it’s too long to fit in the cover. It is much less time-consuming and a lot easier to diaper a very wiggly baby, and works just as well.
• Despite just being a few pieces of fabric sewn together, they come in a variety of choices, such as organic or non-organic, unbleached or bleached, dyed or natural, and many work-at-home-moms embellish them with swatches of fabric in the middle, making them adorable and customized. The most fun I’ve had with prefolds is turning them into fitted diapers! 
• Other than my few mysteriously torn prefolds, the rest of my prefolds are still in good condition, and I can tell now that I will be able to use them for this next baby as well, and possibly for more kids in the future. I have a friend who has been using the same prefolds for all three of her girls.
• You can reuse the cover for two or three diaper changes. Covers dry very quickly, so a cover can be rinsed and rung, hung on a box fan, and be completely dry in ten or fifteen minutes. 
• Many covers come in one-size options, which I like a lot more than small, medium, and large. I think they fit a lot snugger, and it is more cost-efficient. 
• And as far as night-wetting, I have found that a prefold with a microfiber insert tucked underneath works great for us at night, and is not nearly as bulky as two prefolds.

Pocket diaper cons: 

• I would say that the biggest con about pocket diapers is that there are so many brands and styles to choose from, and even the greatest, best-reviewed brands will not work for everyone. BumGenius and Happy Heinies are two of the most popular brands and they work great for us, but I can tell you that I have met plenty of people who do not like them at all. Knickernappies is another popular brand and while I have friends who love them, River leaks from them like crazy! Most of the pockets I have purchased have worked for us, so I really haven’t found this to be an issue. And mamas are crazy for cloth, so even if you do end up with a brand you don’t like, you’re sure to find someone who will be willing to do a diaper swap with you for another brand! But this is a good reason not to go out and make an entire stash out of one brand until you’ve tried a few and find one you love. 
• I have found that pockets wick more than prefolds. Because the fleece lining and the PUL are sewn right up against each other at the edge of the diaper, sometimes wetness gets on the outside. But when I say sometimes, I really do mean only sometimes, and not with all brands. 
• They are not made of natural materials, and I have not seen an all-natural option, which might bother some parents looking to use only natural materials. Pockets are made from synthetics, like polyester, microfiber/fleece and polyurethane laminate. If using all-natural materials is a big thing for you, prefolds and wool or wool fleece is the way to go. 
• Stuffing the pockets takes time, and is something you have to get the hang of to do swiftly. Sometimes I just use the folded prefold/cover combination because I was too lazy to stuff my pockets ahead of time.
• Pocket diapers also tend to be more expensive than a prefold/cover combination.

Pocket pros:

• I find them easier to use than prefolds, especially if you are new to (and a little scared of) cloth diapers. I purchased my first pocket diapers about nine months ago, just to have a few to have on hand for sitters and grandparents, and I fell so deeply in love that I immediately neglected my prefolds for more pocket diapers. They go on like a disposable diaper, which is a big thing for me. I’ve been able to leave River with people who don’t cloth diaper (like my own stepdad, who is very afraid of cloth diapers) and it isn’t a problem, because they are just as easy to put on as disposable diapers, especially if they have hook and loop closures, as opposed to snaps. 
• While stuffing the pockets does take time, it’s probably takes just as long as folding and pinning a prefold; however, the great thing is you can do it ahead of time so that changing a diaper happens very quickly and easily. After ten months of folding and Snappi-ing prefolds and then putting a cover on separately (often when he was younger, River just wanted to GO already), I loved just picking a diaper out of the drawer and putting it on my little monkey in a flash. 
• Another thing I like is that the microfiber insert just soaks up all the wetness, and the fleece lining stays very dry against baby’s skin, just like a disposable. I had to see it to believe it. I imagine he is much more comfortable between diaper changes when his little bum feels dryer. 
• Pocket diapers work during the night if I double up the insert. 
• I have also noticed that pocket diapers are generally trimmer than prefolds and covers and don’t look silly underneath pants. I never liked how prefolds fit on River, and he couldn’t even wear a pair of jeans until a few months ago, because his diapered butt was so huge! 
• Just like covers for prefolds, many pocket diapers come in one-size options (however, I have often seen a one-size option not fitting super chunky babies for long. River still has a while to go before he's grown out of his one-size pockets, and I think they'll last through potty training.)

A comparison and some final notes:

• Both are of about the same absorbency when used correctly – while inserts tend to hold more ounces of liquid than a prefold, covers tend to hold in the wetness in better than a pocket diaper shell. 
• Prefolds are generally less expensive, especially in the long-run. They often can last through numerous children, while pockets may need to be replaced more often because of wear to the PUL or elastic -- it's cheaper to replace a cover than it is to replace an entire pocket diaper (I'm not sure if there are many places where you can just buy a shell and not the insert as well).
• I have a theory that prefolds clean easier than the microfiber inserts that are used in pockets. Since the inserts absorb a lot, I imagine they absorb detergent and minerals in hard water easier than prefolds. I have no idea though, it’s just a theory based on my experience with both, and my inserts needing to be stripped more often and holding stains longer.

So the verdict is this. I like them both about equal. I have found that plain, old-fashioned prefolds are good and trusty. I can generally rely on them more than the pockets. The pocket diapers (some, not all) tend to leak at weird times, and like I said, they tend to acquire build-up faster, and the inserts get crunchy, while I put the prefolds through the same wash routine and they come out soft. However, pockets are great because they are easy and quick and they pack well. I am happy I have a good amount of both. They both do the job and serve their own purpose, and on any day, you’ll see me choosing one or the other mainly based on my mood – do I want stripes, or zoo animals? ;) 

wildflowers

a couple weeks ago we went to a potluck at a park, and on the way home the sun was shining just right on this small patch of wildflowers growing in between the highway, a valero gas station, and a street in our neighborhood. not the most picturesque spot, but i managed to hide the highway and gas station. river just so happened to have gotten very dirty at the park, so we removed his clothing and he was very cute-looking in his tennies and diaper. thankful for these little patches of life and beauty in the middle of the ugliness of conventional human living!