10.25.2011

new

twelve days old today, and nine pounds, three ounces -- an entire pound up from her birth weight!

looking down at this tiny girl against my chest, stroking her silky head full of hair, listening to her soft noises as she sleeps... the same thoughts go through my head as they did with river, when he was so fresh and new: i can't believe this is mine. this is the baby that was wiggling and kicking and dancing inside me (keeping me up at all hours of the night before she was even born)? just a week and a few days ago... this was the little person that had been growing in my body, from a tiny life, to the wet, screaming, breathing baby i held in my arms the moment she was born? i mean, technically, i could still be pregnant with her. she could still be inside me. that's how new she is. the reality almost can't even be grasped. what a beautiful little life.

the way she depends on me, the way she relaxes against me, the way she is nourished at my breast... getting to know her personality, her patterns, her differences from my first baby... noting every facial expression, every little smile and grimace and pout... reminding myself to store in my memory every passing characteristic of this newborn... how her fists curl, how her tiny toes spread, how light-as-feathers her little arms and legs are... i am loving every moment. i cherish this newness, but i also look forward to watching her grow and change. i remember how sweet each stage was with river. watching your own children grow is just incredible. how they just blossom, and how fun it is to watch them learn about the world around them. and how sweet it is when you realize they've fallen in love with you, too.




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