9.29.2011

when are you due?

this question bothered me when i was pregnant with river. okay, pretty much every inquiry as to how i was doing with my pregnant self bothered me the first time around, but this time, i welcome the question. i just started telling people my daughter's estimated due date is october 15th, but throughout this pregnancy i've told everyone mid-october, or "in about two months." but it's a fun sort of count-down. one day it hit me that i could start saying a month and a half, instead of two months... and now suddenly, i can say in about two weeks. wow... it's so close.

river came just two days after his due date, so when people ask if he was late, i tell them no. he came right on time, especially considering that most first-time babies come an average of 8 days after their due date (when they are allowed to come on their own time). in fact, throughout my pregnancy with river, i expected him to come much later. when my water broke on the tenth of august, i was shocked. the due date is just a guess, anyway, and my body knew how long my baby needed to cook. sometimes i forget that in our culture, we think any time after our EDD is "late."

but despite this, i just realized this entire pregnancy, i've expected baby to come within a few days of her due date. the other day as i was doing something mundane that takes very little thinking, i was just sort of reminiscing about river's birth, wondering how little girl's birth is going to go, and reminding myself not to have expectations of any kind. just because river came quickly, and only two days after his EDD, doesn't mean this baby will come the same way. she could take her sweet time. she could come two weeks after her due date, instead of two days. then i wondered if i am emotionally prepared, as i was with river, for this little girl to be late. am i ready to possible have an early-november baby, instead of a mid-october baby?

either way, my expectations about this birth have been challenged the last few weeks. i am truly hoping she comes a little slower. i'd like time to adjust to the fact i'm in labor, rather than going into transition just an hour after my first contraction, like i did with river. i'd like to be able to focus on different coping techniques and maybe even complete a "labor project" in early labor, like making cookies or.. oh whatever, i'm totally romanticizing the birth. if this baby's birth is anything like river's, that means i can totally expect the unexpected. and part of dealing with birth is doing just that. not expecting things to go as "planned"... after all, you can't plan a birth to go how you want it to go, and most likely, not everything is going to go how a mama would like it to go. but that is part of the amazing mystery and power of birth! ;)

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