i know i've said three thousand times that i am going to get organized, but this time I AM GOING TO GET ORGANIZED! i have to. with a little one due in october, i'm not sure if this lazy, whatever, no-routine thing we have going on is realistic if i am going to keep my sanity. river has certainly crossed the border from sweet, energetic baby who gets into nearly everything to still-sweet but strong-willed, energetic toddler who really does get into everything because he can reach/open/maneuver it. one mom told me she had a kid just like him and that her daughter needed to be constantly doing something -- whether that was cutting paper, stuffing tissue into a box, or squishing play-dough between her fingers. this is river exactly, and i can tell he is starving for a routine.
my one hesitation is my lack of energy. when i am pregnant, if i don't get about ten hours of sleep every night, i am dead. and i also have been experiencing some insomnia. i go to bed and fall asleep fine, but a couple hours later i'm wide awake and can't fall back asleep for a couple hours. then, when i finally do fall back asleep, it's that dozy kind of sleep where you feel like you're awake the whole time, and when your two year old wakes you up with a cheery HI MAMA OATMEAL PLEASE C'MON MAMA UP! :D :D :D you think to yourself, "noooo.... wasn't it four in the morning five minutes ago and wasn't i just making a grocery list in my head? i need sleeeeeep" and then you pretend to be asleep for another hour while your hungry toddler sits there whimpering and singing to himself and every now and then, attempts to ask you for oatmeal again, with little success, until finally you either hit your husband awake enough times that it's his turn to make oatmeal or you force yourself out of bed, figuring your kid is probably actually really hungry at this point, and this is probably considered neglectful parenting, or something like that. or maybe that's just me.
of course, my other hesitation is that i am completely unorganized by nature and me saying, "i'm going to be organized!" is like me saying, "i'm going to climb the himalayas!" even when i try my hardest to be organized, i fail. but i have two months to try to at least accomplish something. river needs to move to his own bed and i can't just spring this on him without any warning. right now our bed-time routine is pretty much non-existent. he falls asleep with us when we go to bed, or in his high-chair mid-peanut butter sandwich, like tonight. when he was nine months old, i had come to the end of my rope with him waking up in the middle of the night and wanting to play for a couple hours, and then nursing every hour on top of that, so i started doing a little bed-time ritual with him: first he would get a bath, then we'd go into our room and turn on an amber light that was soothing and kept the room pretty dark, and i'd talk to him in a quiet voice. we'd put on PJs, read a book or two, and then i'd nurse him to sleep. believe it or not, he started sleeping better at night and woke up less to nurse. it was like magic. i know kids thrive on routine and that god is a god of order and created us to seek order, but you should see my living room right now. it really does take a lot of self-discipline for me to be orderly and stick to something i am not thrilled about.
am i just a hopeless case? this whole commitment to routine thing is freaking me out. i'm not sure i can do it.