there is really no romantic way to announce a pregnancy at 7 weeks when i am feeling nauseous all hours of the day and haven't taken a shower in three days and when i actually do attempt to shower, i can barely stand for ten minutes without ending up lying on the bathroom floor so i don't pass out, or throw up, or both, while river just stands in the tub, shivering and chewing on a bath toy.
but on the other hand, we are very excited and joyful with our whole hearts and i can't wait to meet this little guy.
i have a lot of thoughts about this pregnancy, this new little one. some are good -- most, i'd say. some are challenging and negative, but mostly i am tearing up watching disney commercials because i can't believe i am going to have two children in a few months and i can't wait to take them both to epcot. i want them to be best friends, i can't wait for another homebirth experience, and i can't wait to relish that "babymoon" period, the couple weeks following birth, when the baby is fresh and squishy and pink and tiny and smells deliciously pure and lovely.
the challenging part is that what i feared about another pregnancy has come true. i was so afraid that if i got pregnant, i would have severe morning sickness like i did with river, and poor river would be neglected and turn into a tv baby. i can only admit that this very thing has happened, except that morning sickness this time around has been easier than the last time. i am only 8 weeks along, so i know it could get worse before it gets better, but at least this time i can make it through a meal without feeling like i am going to lose it. i have been spending most of my time -- okay, all of my time -- lying on the couch in my parent's basement, with the big-screen tv on, watching the food network all day because i don't want to eat anything and i don't want to smell anything, but damn, that food on the television screen looks amazing. i write lists for my mom of what food sounds good to me (yogurt, fish sticks?? really? taco salad, peaches, cheez-its... i hated cheez-its before i was pregnant) and cry over the food that i loved two weeks ago, but now makes me gag (bread sticks, eggs, bacon, avocado, anything not fruit, anything too salty, anything too sweet, anything with flavor, really).
and i am stuck in pittsburgh. i came here two weeks ago, expecting to stay for a quick one-week visit while my parents were out of town, but when the time came for me to return home i had come down with the flu (along with the rest of the family -- even my mom got the flu when she was out of town, and john, all the way in san antonio, got sick as well) and could barely lift my head off the couch. so my parents rescheduled my flight. however, when the time came for me to fly back, morning sickness hit me pretty hard. so i'm staying in pittsburgh until my morning sickness goes away, which i am assuming will be by april. poor john misses his little boy so much -- we have already been gone from him for two weeks and have a month to go.
it's hard, and makes me think things like i don't want to be pregnant, this was too much for me to handle, this baby is disrupting a perfectly comfortable life. but those thoughts are fleeting and mostly come to my mind when river is sticking my phone in my glass of water or climbing on my stomach. when i really think about this baby, i am so excited. and i know that "this too shall pass," and i am looking forward to feeling like a normal mommy again when the morning sickness does pass.
on that note, i promise to update more. this blog started out as a pregnancy blog, and here we are again! i can hardly wait to unfold my thoughts and feelings about pregnancy, coming from this different angle of "been there, done that." tell me, mamas.. how did you handle pregnancy with little ones running underfoot?