3.02.2011

i'm preggers

there is really no romantic way to announce a pregnancy at 7 weeks when i am feeling nauseous all hours of the day and haven't taken a shower in three days and when i actually do attempt to shower, i can barely stand for ten minutes without ending up lying on the bathroom floor so i don't pass out, or throw up, or both, while river just stands in the tub, shivering and chewing on a bath toy.

but on the other hand, we are very excited and joyful with our whole hearts and i can't wait to meet this little guy.

i have a lot of thoughts about this pregnancy, this new little one. some are good -- most, i'd say. some are challenging and negative, but mostly i am tearing up watching disney commercials because i can't believe i am going to have two children in a few months and i can't wait to take them both to epcot. i want them to be best friends, i can't wait for another homebirth experience, and i can't wait to relish that "babymoon" period, the couple weeks following birth, when the baby is fresh and squishy and pink and tiny and smells deliciously pure and lovely.

the challenging part is that what i feared about another pregnancy has come true. i was so afraid that if i got pregnant, i would have severe morning sickness like i did with river, and poor river would be neglected and turn into a tv baby. i can only admit that this very thing has happened, except that morning sickness this time around has been easier than the last time. i am only 8 weeks along, so i know it could get worse before it gets better, but at least this time i can make it through a meal without feeling like i am going to lose it. i have been spending most of my time -- okay, all of my time -- lying on the couch in my parent's basement, with the big-screen tv on, watching the food network all day because i don't want to eat anything and i don't want to smell anything, but damn, that food on the television screen looks amazing. i write lists for my mom of what food sounds good to me (yogurt, fish sticks?? really? taco salad, peaches, cheez-its... i hated cheez-its before i was pregnant) and cry over the food that i loved two weeks ago, but now makes me gag (bread sticks, eggs, bacon, avocado, anything not fruit, anything too salty, anything too sweet, anything with flavor, really).

and i am stuck in pittsburgh. i came here two weeks ago, expecting to stay for a quick one-week visit while my parents were out of town, but when the time came for me to return home i had come down with the flu (along with the rest of the family -- even my mom got the flu when she was out of town, and john, all the way in san antonio, got sick as well) and could barely lift my head off the couch. so my parents rescheduled my flight. however, when the time came for me to fly back, morning sickness hit me pretty hard. so i'm staying in pittsburgh until my morning sickness goes away, which i am assuming will be by april. poor john misses his little boy so much -- we have already been gone from him for two weeks and have a month to go.

it's hard, and makes me think things like i don't want to be pregnant, this was too much for me to handle, this baby is disrupting a perfectly comfortable life. but those thoughts are fleeting and mostly come to my mind when river is sticking my phone in my glass of water or climbing on my stomach. when i really think about this baby, i am so excited. and i know that "this too shall pass," and i am looking forward to feeling like a normal mommy again when the morning sickness does pass.

on that note, i promise to update more. this blog started out as a pregnancy blog, and here we are again! i can hardly wait to unfold my thoughts and feelings about pregnancy, coming from this different angle of "been there, done that." tell me, mamas.. how did you handle pregnancy with little ones running underfoot?

10 comments:

  1. Oh!!! Congratulations!
    First, find an acupuncturist (one who specializes in pregnancy care), and say goodbye to nausea - it works, I promise!
    Second, every pregnancy is different, huh? We found out we're expecting number two at 5wks... I'm now 12 weeks. Luna will be 21 months when this little babe comes. Love, Excitement, Fear, Overwhelming, Happiness, Disconnected.... all of these and more come up for me. But I go with it.. this is life, we're living it, might as well enjoy!

    Hugs to you - let the initial hormonal swings pass, and then let the abundance wash over you!

    Jennifer

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  2. wow, jennifer, congratulations!! i still remember when you gave birth to luna... oh my goodness, how exciting!

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  3. wow that's just so exciting! i'm so excited for more beautiful blog posts. your blog should be famous.

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  4. have you tried ginger snaps or sea bands (a type of acupressure band used for sea sickness and chemotherapy patients)? i had really bad morning sickness with my first three, but those things seemed to help by the time i finally discovered them! i hope you find some relief soon--i know how draining it can be!

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  5. Hi. I found your page from my sisters Fb breastfeeding convo. I just wrote you a long comment and it blipped away. Just know I love your site. You are a woman after my own heart. I will be following along.

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  6. Hey, It is me again. I want to try to send what I had written before...or a semblance of it anyway.
    I want to encourage you in any way possible. This is a hard thing going from one baby to two. I know the grief of losing that special thing you have going on with your only. It is precious. It almost feels disloyal to add another to your family as it seems to be short changing the one that solely has your heart. I cried on the night before my second child was born because I could not picture my life outside of the awesome threesome we had going. I wailed to my mom about how I was now dividing my time and love and it just seemed unfair. She, in her wisdom, assured me that it was not division but multiplication. Your mommy love doubles and God makes it possible for another to dwell as fully in your heart as the first one does. It is a miracle. Trust me on this.
    Practically, morning sickness with the energizer bunny running around your house is just hard to take. It is ok to let the ocmputer/tv screen do some babysitting. Just choose carefully. There are some really good things he can watch and enjoy while mommy is virtually passed out.
    Cultivate play without movement. There are ways to spend time and keep his attention with a minimum of physical exertion.
    Stickers and a notebook...hours of fun.
    Bubbles.
    Stories.
    Pour out the entire toybox on a blanket. Lie down next to it. This way you have everything within reach to amuse as he gets bored with one thing. Play stacking games. Sorting games. Hide and seek. I spy. Guessing games. etc. When you are done just pick up the edges of the blanket and pour it back in the box. Even if you dump it all on the floor is really is not hard to scoop it all back in. Or practice throwing in into the box.
    Sort beans or pasta into egg cartons.
    Drop beans into a jar as you stand over it.
    Have a tea party.
    Make his lunch in a moment when you feel ok. Then later have a picnic lunch on the living room floor.
    Give a box of bandaids and let him fix your booboos. Or his own.
    Go easy on yourself mama. It is going to be ok. You are growing a little one and that takes as much energy as running a marathon...every day. Your little guy on the outside benefits from this time to acclimate to your split attention. He is not the center of your universe. He needs the time to adjust to that and know that his new position is safe and wonderful too.

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  7. your comment made me cry! thank you thank you thank you for your understanding. and those are GREAT ideas, i would have never thought of some of those... what awesome ideas for playtime. i will definitely be utilizing those once we get home.

    i really appreciate you taking the time to share your encouragement. it means more to me than you know. i think you added me on facebook? thanks. :) :)

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