why moms breastfeed in public, part 1

here's the deal. i've breastfed in church services, in grocery stores [while shopping for groceries], in malls, at numerous restaurants, at bookstores, in coffee shops, in the ocean, at a river, at a park ... the list goes on and on. for me, breastfeeding is - a few very important key words - natural, normal and innocent. so to cover up something that in a perfect world would be an everyday thing, seems silly. besides, breastfeeding my son is more than just for nourishment. i breastfeed my son because it is a parenting philosophy, a bonding experience, an illness-kicker, and a way to comfort, play, and love. a lifestyle.

river nursing at a starbucks

river nursing in the ocean

although i've never received direct criticism from someone telling me to cover up or go to the restroom, i'm sure i've gotten cold looks behind my back and whispers sharing opinions about my "indecency." let me make it clear that when i breastfeed, i don't just pull my shirt down and pop out the boob. i make a point to breastfeed discretely. and this is how most women breastfeed in public. however, despite there being less boob shown than one would see in a bikini at the pool, for some reason there is still an unnecessary debate about public breastfeeding, and many people are quick to offer their solutions, which are often times ignorant and inconvenient. 

solution #1: just stay at home

this is by far the stupidest, most selfish "solution" to the "problem" of public breastfeeding i've ever heard - and i have heard it, many times. i mean, it is so stupid that i'm not even going to go far into it. does one actually expect a new mother to spend all her time at home, never to leave the house, for fear that her baby may become hungry and she might have to *gasp* breastfeed in public?

solution #2: go out after or before baby needs to eat

this is one that i can understand, and that obviously is suggested by the child-less, or at least formula-feeding parents. the world health organization recommends feeding an infant under six months of age on demand; that is, not having the child on any sort of feeding schedule, but feeding whenever the child is hungry. a normal breastfeeding baby will have meals and snacks. this means that he may go a few minutes between feedings, or a few hours. this means he will eat for twenty minutes here, three minutes there. in other words, you can't always guess when the baby is going to be hungry and want to eat. even if a mother was feeding on schedule, it's just plain inconvenient. can you imagine trying to plan things around an infant who needs to eat every two or three hours? how would anyone get anything done?

of course, there are still mothers who breastfeed their older children in public, like myself. the main reason i do? we have practiced attachment parenting and ecological breastfeeding since river was born. he is not used to being told he can't nurse - and when he wants to nurse, he wants to nurse. i can try to distract him, but if he's hungry, it simply doesn't work. he would much rather breastfeed than eat solid foods - and that's okay with me. i'm not going to deny my child something he needs because it makes a few people uncomfortable [if they can even tell i'm breastfeeding].

solution #3: go to the restroom

i can't write as good of a response as posted here, so please follow that link. in short, this solution is disgusting. i remember when i was a kid, my mom would tell me to put my toothbrush in the cabinet and not out on the counter, because whenever the toilet was flushed, airborne nasties could spread and land on surfaces, and studies have shown traces of e. coli and other bacteria on toothbrushes left out. gross! here's a commercial that shows a simple but eye-opening perspective of a child eating in a bathroom.

solution #4: pump a bottle

ah, easier said than done! when river was teeny tiny, i pumped a few bottles and took them when we went out, but pumping was never easy for me and was always painful, so i decided to just get used to breastfeeding in public. more importantly, if a breastfeeding mom takes a bottle [or supplements with formula] every time she goes somewhere, her body will start to lessen her supply of milk, and may cause her to accidentally wean her baby before he is ready. stimulating your milk supply can be very difficult.

i'm leaving solution #5 for another post - because it may seem like the easiest, most rational solution, but there is so much more to it than one would think.

-click here to read why moms breastfeed in public, part 2-

wearing your baby - say what?

if you are in the san antonio area, and you haven't already, you should check out the san antonio natural parenting group! we get together once a month to discuss topics like healthy eating, natural childbirth, and homeopathic remedies. this month we discussed baby wearing. everyone brought their wraps and slings, and diane, the owner of go baby go and leader of the SANP group, helped trouble-shoot issues and showed how to properly wear a baby. i was so excited about this meeting for two reasons: one, river and i never got the hang of baby wearing, and i was interested to see the different options up close and personal, and two, we were hosting!

i love having people over, and i don't think we've had so many children in our apartment at once - our living room looked like this within minutes:

i loved it!

river and ricky eating banana bread - ricky's first real solid food, besides an avocado that he mainly smeared all over himself, according to his mama.

a few of the kiddos playing. one of my favorite parts about the afternoon? all the babies were wearing cloth! i love getting together with fellow cloth diapering mamas!

comparing pouch slings. aren't they cute? i love the red print.

diane showing katie how wearing it around her shoulder is easier on the back. so many tricks when it comes to baby wearing!

diane showing how to wear a mei tei in a front carry...

the bottom is tied at the waste...

the top straps are criss-crossed in the back and tied in the front at penny's back.

and a back carry...

the bottom is tied in the front...

the top straps are placed over the shoulders...

criss-crossed in the back, and come around and are tied in the front. penny's not going anywhere!

it looked complicated, but i tried it out with river in a back carry, and it was pretty simple. i imagine the more you do it, the easier it gets. i loved the mei tie... i may have to get one for our next child. or make one! now! :) baby wearing is an aspect of attachment parenting, and this is a big reason i want to get into it the next time around. there are a few reasons i feel that baby wearing will work great for us:

wearing your newborn simulates the womb. a newborn has been moving around in a tight space nearly non-stop for nine months, and being born into a still, wide-open world is strange and uncomfortable. when a baby is being worn, they are warm, secure, and moving around more than if they were lying down. they can smell mama [or daddy] and can hear her voice. a newborn in a womb-like setting is a happy newborn. for more on keeping newborns happy and simulating the womb, check out happiest baby on the block - seriously magic for all new parents. uh-ma-zing. 

when the baby gets older, they can learn a lot from being worn, rather than being low on the ground. although i don't wear river very often, when i do, he soaks up everything. he loves to watch me do every-day things, like cook or vacuum. he is much happier being carried than being down on the ground, and this is an easy way to do it. using slings and wraps is a great alternative to using a stroller - the baby is able to see you and the world at a better view, rather than sitting in a stroller, facing away from you. if they get scared or are unsettled, they can quickly turn to you for comfort.

baby-wearing is becoming trendier in the western culture, but it's actually an ancient way of caring for an infant. not only is it a way to keep your baby content and happy, it will also help parents learn their babies' cues and develop a strong, healthy attachment. to read more about baby wearing, visit askdrsears.com. 

sleep routine: night 1

at 9:40, i gave river a bath and let him play a bit. bubbles were introduced for the first time, and he was amazed. after the bath, we went to our room and turned on his blue-bulbed lamp while i got him dressed for bed and read a night-time story. when i was finished reading the book,  i let him play around with it a bit while he sat on my lap, until he asked to nurse. he fell asleep within 10 minutes, right at 10:00 pm.

at 1:30, he still had not woken up [very rarely does he sleep longer than two hours at a stretch], so my crazy-mom alarm went off and i went in to check on him. he was fine, of course, but i accidentally woke him up when i tried to cover his legs with a blanket. i nursed him for about 5 minutes and put him down, though he was a bit restless. about 15 minuets, he comes toddling into the living room, as he usually goes around this time. i went to bed and john held him for about thirty minutes before he came into the room saying river was almost asleep and then realized i wasn't there, and started looking for me. i was afraid he would be awake a long time, but he nursed to sleep in about thirty minutes [not a long time, compared to his habit of staying up for two hours in the middle of the night]. i'm not sure how many times we woke up in the night to nurse because we co-slept the entire night. it's always more often when we co-sleep -- i think it was four or five times.

we didn't wake up early this morning. i thought about it, but he's always still so sleepy at 7:30, and if i were to make him get up, he would be grumpy and clingy all morning until he decides to take a nap. so i let him sleep until 9:30, when he woke up on his own, happy and babbling in bed. i'm still not sure what to do in the mornings, because i would like to wake up earlier, and at the same time every day, but i don't know how he would nap if we woke up at 7:30. i know he would take an early nap, probably around 10:00 am, and a later nap. right now he only takes one long nap in the afternoon, but if he falls asleep any later than 3:00, he will be up all night. i guess we'll try waking up tomorrow at eight and see what happens.

wow -- who knew i could write three long paragraphs about something entirely dull?

- edit - i'll be updating river's new sleep routine on the left-hand side of the page. this way i'm not going into long details. ;)

soakers by jess!

my friend jessica made some adorable fleece soakers for river a few weeks ago...

isn't it so freaking cute? the other is a bit small, so we'll be keeping it for our future babies.

i'm so used to river being in PUL [polyurethane laminate] covers, and when he woke up in the middle of the night to nurse, it was a pleasant surprise to instead feel the super soft fleece on his little bum.

don't get me wrong, i love our PUL covers; but there are a few things i also love about these soakers. i didn't know how soakers would work until jessica made me a few, and i love them! the wetness doesn't get absorbed into the fleece, it just sort of lies on top, and stays near the prefold. they can be used over and over throughout the day, just like a PUL cover. there are no snaps or velcro; you just slip them on like little bloomers. and no elastic means no red marks on those precious chunky thighs! i like that they are soft, i like that they are affordable, and i like that they are more versatile because they look more like little pants than other diaper covers. we even used them overnight, and guess what? no leaks, no wetness except where it's supposed to be -- in the diaper.

if you want to snag yourself a couple of these adorable soakers, click on over to jessica's blog and let her know!

a new sleep routine

for the past four nights, river has woken up around midnight, and is all, "hey mom and dad. that was just a nap. don't worry. now we can play for two hours. i'll just crawl around and do hard core face-plants into your stomach while you try to sleep, pull your hair and pinch your neck and try to put your nose in my mouth. it'll be fun."

nights with river have always been interesting. when he was about 4 months old, he put himself into a routine that lasted for one glorious month. since then, our days and nights have been a guessing game. it the day time, it works to our advantage; because he's not really on any kind of schedule...at all... we don't have to plan around anything. but nights aren't what you'd necessarily call restful. i don't know who coined the term "sleeping like a baby," but they had obviously never consistently cared for a sleeping baby.

river will go a few weeks sleeping really well, and then a few weeks waking up every hour to nurse, and now, i suppose his new thing is night-sleeping in intervals. fun stuff. of course, there are nights like last night when he wakes up and want to be up, and it is a pain to get him back to sleep. we've tried many different things, but not with much commitment. i've tried giving him bottles of water, but i hate to see him devastated because he can't nurse, so i don't push it. i would rather nurse him frequently at night that have a sad, stressed-out, confused baby. we've tried a crib, we've tried a playpen, and we have been using the montessori method of a bed on the floor, which seems to work best. john can get him back to sleep sometimes, and we've switched back and forth between his own bed, exclusively co-sleeping, or both -- whatever feels right. we have let him fuss a bit to see if he will fall back to sleep on his own, but that rarely happens. obviously, we need something new. cry-it-out is completely out of the question. i will not even consider it for a child of river's age. call me a sucker.

some of these things have helped temporarily, but they have not made river a happy sleeper at night. i don't mind nursing him two or three times in the night -- i just don't like nursing him every hour. some women can do it, but i am very sensitive and often, after nights like that, in pain by the morning. but besides the constant nursing, i would like river to go to sleep around the same time every night, and not wake up at midnight to play. yeah, that would be great.

river napping on his montessori bed: the way we've found works best for him.

so i have a plan.
it's nothing we've ever done before.
it's new. it's foreign.
and it's probably going to feel totally weird.

i'm going to try to be organized and set a routine for river, for two weeks, and see if it makes any difference in his sleeping.  i won't try to be too strict with nap times, because i see that as kind of pointless. he naps well in the day and there's really no way to force him to nap if he doesn't want to. but we'll be up at the same time every day - regardless of how much sleep we got the night before [um, maybe unless i got less than three] -  and i will start wearing him down at the same time every night. low lights, a quiet bath, read some books, and then nurse in our room with the fan on and the lights off. i'm hoping this will work. i'll keep you updated -- not just for the sake of this being an interesting experiment to share, but also to keep myself on top of it. i will for sure get lazy on day two or three if i don't have someone to report to -- being you, my lovely blog readers. ;)

starting tonight, bath at 9:30. wish me luck... a lot of it.

go baby go!

a couple of weeks ago, john and i had a photoshoot with diane who owns go baby go, the local natural parenting company i mentioned in a previous post about our new cloth diapers. diane is selling water wraps [great for hands-free relaxing in the pool, while keeping your baby right next to you!] and needed some photos for her website and catalog. katie and her sweet baby boy were some great models!

hangin' out in the pool before the shoot.

what's sweeter than some yummy baby neck nuzzling?

diane sells all sorts of goodies -- besides water wraps and other baby carriers, she has tons of cloth diapers and diapering accessories, including diaper sprayers, wipe solutions, detergents, and rash creams. go check out her website and see for yourself!

gobabygoshop.com

sponge

tonight, i've been contemplating all that river has learned about life in the past week: he has learned how to sniff to smell, water flowers, tickle people, and read a book. picture all of those in quotations. 


because "smelling" is actually exhaling through his nose, rather than inhaling. and it's the funniest thing to watch him do. i show him how to smell a raspberry tea bag. he wants to put it in his mouth, and has to try really hard not to open his mouth out of habit, but to sniff instead. his face is very serious, and he watches me intently as i sniff the tea bag and say enthusiastically, "mmm! it smells so good!" i'll bet it's like rubbing his head and patting his belly to him. after he has sniffed, he smiles with a crinkly nose, so proud of himself.

watering the flowers at our door is holding a half-gallon milk carton with a cup of water in it over the flowers, but not really pouring. he even pumps his arm up and down, "watering" very thoroughly the petunias. we clap and say good job, and he doesn't want to come inside. he runs from me to the other potted plant and proceeds to water that one, too. he's my outside hippie boy and he loves the green life. nothin' wrong with that.

john tickles me. a lot. i pretend to hate it, but i don't, because it's fun. so, john's tickling me, and i'm laughing uncontrollably, because i am the most ridiculously ticklish person you will meet. river is laughing and squealing, and starts rubbing my hair vigorously and patting my back excitedly and biting the back of my neck. he is "tickling" me too. and he is doing a great job...because it sure is making me laugh.

this afternoon, he catches some sunlight through the window and sits down to read a book. he opens it and flips through its pages, saying this, and saying that. when he catches me taking pictures of him, he doesn't even budge - gives me a sweet love smile, and goes back to his book. i guess he's going to be a reader, like his mama.

all of these little things melt my heart. he's soaking stuff up like you wouldn't believe. he's a little sponge and he's trying oh-so-very hard to do exactly what mama and daddy do, and it is the most pleasing thing. sometimes i feel like he's more of a toddler than a baby. it may just be first-time-mom syndrome, but... i think he's really smart.

what you don't hear about breastfeeding: part 3

your newborn does not need to eat right away

your colostrum [fatty super food especially designed for a newborn] may come in as just drops at a time, and your milk may not come in for a few days. this is okay. your baby is born well nourished and doesn't need to breastfeed the moment she is born. of course, latching her on right away is a perfect way to bond, but if she is not getting anything yet, no need to worry. 

sometimes, a hospital will tell you you must give your baby at least a bottle of formula before you leave -- you don't have to. it is not necessary. your baby, your choice. 

"ecological breastfeeding" will help you lose those pounds

i've heard so often that breastfeeding helps women lose the pounds, since you are burning 300-500 calories a day -- except the last ten, that seem to overstay their welcome. however, in my case, i lost my baby weight so fast, no matter what i ate, and continued to lose weight past my pre-baby weight. then my friend samantha told me that "on-demand" feeding [which is what i thought i was doing] and "ecological breastfeeding" [which is what i was actually doing] are not the same. the difference? on-demand feeding is not feeding on a schedule, but feeding whenever your child is showing signs of hunger. ecological breastfeeding is feeding whenever your child is hungry... and sad, scared, hurt, bored, needs a snack, wants to snuggle, is being loud, doesn't feel good, is a little fussy, needs to suckle -- in other words, all the time! that's definitely what river and i have done since day one [although there has been the occasional use of a bottle or pacifier]. and here is the magical secret -- women who practice ecological breastfeeding can lose up to 1000 calories a day! 


of course, ecological breastfeeding is not for everyone. it takes great commitment, and it's common to feel [especially in the early months] like you've been breastfeeding and clung to all day long. but even though those early months are difficult, ecological breastfeeding felt right to us, and just worked.

there is more to breastfeeding than health

breast milk changes flavors depending on what you eat! formula is the same flavor, day after day after day. breastmilk really is the perfect food for your infant, in more ways than just the incredible health benefits.

you don't see baby formula prescribed to cancer patients

just sayin'. ;) 

your doctor/pediatrician is not a breastfeeding expert

just don't. go to a lactation consultant. call your local la leche league. talk to a midwife. when river was five months old, our pediatrician [who is a great guy, and totally into holistic medicine!] told me i had to start feeding river iron-fortified rice cereal because at this time, he would start needing more iron than my breast milk could supply. i didn't feel right about it, especially wanting to hold off on introducing solids [just a personal thing], and i talked to an experience mom and leader of a la leche league, who assured me that i didn't have to start feeding river rice cereal yet if i didn't want to, and i could take more iron myself, and he would get it from my milk. 


one friend told me her doctor prescribed a medicine to her that she could not take while breastfeeding. it was easy for the doctor to say, "you'll just to stop breastfeeding for a while," but any woman who breast feeds knows you cannot just stop and then start up again months later. she did some research and found a different medicine she could take while nursing -- and a different doctor.

your newborn doesn't need water

if you are breastfeeding your baby will not be dehydrated! the first milk that comes in when your baby starts to suckle is called foremilk. it is watery and there to quench your baby's thirst. the milk that flows down after they've been eating for a while is called hindmilk. it is thicker, and is your baby's "meal." something that i find absolutely fascinating is the fact that when it is hot outside, your body produces more thin, watery breastmilk to keep your baby hydrated better! 

you will just know

when i was pregnant, i read a few books and websites on breastfeeding because i was so worried i wouldn’t know when river was hungry, when to feed him, when to switch sides, etc. i tried memorizing the routine – “okay…every two hours, one side for ten minutes and then the other side for ten minutes. and i have to make sure he gets both the foremilk and the hind milk. but how will i know how much he’s drinking? how will i know when he’s full?” it was painful. but when he was actually here in my arms and i was feeding him, all my fears went away. after just a few days, i knew his cues, i knew what worked for us, and i knew i wasn’t starving my baby. and i’ve talked to so many women who’ve said the same thing – that you just know. the greatest and most useful parenting manual you have is yourself. you will learn your baby cues and what works for the both of you.

breast really is best

i think it's sad that women are not given the opportunity to be more educated in their choice of food for baby, and it's not our fault. i truly feel that if women knew the health benefits of breastmilk, more women would breastfeed. one mom gave me this information from a post in an online forum: 

Health campaigns and medical literature have traditionally described the "benefits of breastfeeding," comparing health outcomes among breastfed infants against a reference group of formula-fed infants. Although mathematically synonymous with reporting the “risk of not breastfeeding,” this approach implicitly defines formula feeding as the norm. Women responded differently when the same data were presented as the “risk of not breastfeeding,” and they were far more likely to say that they would breastfeed their infants.

even mainstream parenting books will tell you that if you plan on bottle feeding with formula, to budget for more doctor visits. river has been sick only twice, and he is almost a year old. both times were mild illnesses. i am convinced it is because he is breastfed. this is why extended breastfeeding is so great, too. i've heard people say that only babies can benefit from breastfeeding, but honestly, that is just a ridiculous statement and doesn't make any sense! why wouldn't i want to offer this amazing food to my child, when it is so readily available, natural, perfect, and free?

breastmilk is an amazing thing! don't doubt your body or the perfect food that god created JUST for your baby!

new butt fluff

who doesn't love baby clothes? i love browsing the aisles of stores looking at the adorable prints and fabrics, but i've never been one to actually buy baby clothes. not that i don't have an obsession with something else...


cloth. diapers.


i love cloth diapers.
i swoon over cloth diapers.
i visit store after online store looking at
all. the. cute. diapers.

and we recently received some new diapers and covers from go baby go, a local natural-parenting company that sells all sorts of goodies. they are cute cute cute and by the end of the day river had worn three covers, just because they are freaking adorable and i wanted to see all of them on his little butt. :) no clothes for you today, son. you will just run around naked in a totally cute diaper. no wonder disposable diaper companies see cloth diapers as a competitor! [among many other reasons ;D]

we have new bummis and some thirsties covers. while i like the bummis but don't love them, i do love the prints they come in, and now have all three that caught my eye when i first found them. as for the thirsties duo wraps, i all-around love them! and they have a few new, modern prints for both girls and boys.

trying to put it on his head like a hat. :)

my wild boy taking a zen moment.

so cute.

i've been wanting to try a different kind of prefold, besides the green mountain diaper cloth-eez prefolds i have [they are awesome]. we have some second-hand diapers but they are not good quality prefolds at all; i have to make sure i never put them on him at night time or even when we are out and about. so i definitely needed more than just one dozen good diapers. our new diapers from go baby go are chinese prefolds, and i've been wanting to try them out for a while because i've heard such great things. the first thing i noticed about the prefolds was how incredibly soft they were! even after the first use and they were washed and i put them out on the line to dry - they are still so soft. they are not as wide as softeez prefolds, which makes them less bulky, and the fabric has a bit more pull, so they are easier to pin on nice and snug.

and last but not least, we got ourselves a gro via waterproof, machine-washable wet bag.

i've been wanting one for a long time. i'll keep it in the diaper tub and when it's time to wash the dipes, just haul the bag [instead of the whole tub] to the laundromat, and into the wash it goes with the diapers. i think this is going to make our wash routine so much easier. next on my list: a diaper sprayer. then, i will feel like our collection of cloth diapering essentials is complete!

river in his bummis super bright wrap.

seriously, who knew diapers could be so much fun?

a boy and his first ball

we got a new lens. the one we use for nearly everything finally crapped out on us -- after six, long, great years. my new lens has been serving me well. we are getting adjusted to one another. i am learning to fall in love all over again. and since i went nearly a week without being able to take any photos that truly satisfied me and my thirst to create good pictures, i have been a little camera happy.

in other news, river has a ball. river already had a football, but that so doesn't count. he needed a real, round, bouncy and deliciously colorful ball ball. and it's orange. i have been lovin' orange lately.

and i can tell you this: no toy yet has made 

him smile like his orange bouncy ball does.

at this point, i was going, 

"river, mira! play with your ball, river! river, it's a ball. BALL!"

right.

the attention of an eleven-month-old can 

only be held by a single object for so long.

that's nice mom, but... places to go, people to see.

[and, he has on one of his new, adorable diaper covers, 

which i will be blogging about soon!]

and speaking of my lately-love of orange, looky what i got river for his birthday, with some gift cards we received last christmas! it's totally adorable, and i'm pretty sure i'm going to be enjoying it a little more than river will, at least for a while. ;)

p'kolino book buggee
but we got it for almost half the price at toys r us.

what you don't hear about breastfeeding: part 2

pumping isn't always easy or necessary

i have pumped a bottle maybe ten times. i just can't do it. i don't know why, but i will sit at a pump for thirty minutes and get maybe two to three ounces if i'm not absolutely engorged. it is much quicker for me to hand-express [and i believe, probably better for the breast, if done properly]. it's really not a big deal. by hand-expressing, i can get the same amount of milk in half the time. if you don't get much milk when you pump, try to get the hang of hand-expressing. it may take a while, but you will get better at it.

what you pump is different than how much baby is getting

above is a good example. most of the time, when i pumped, i would never have a let-down. however, nearly every time river nurses [even when he'd been nursing all day and i thought i was drained] i have a let-down. a baby feeding is much different than a pump. so if you only get a couple ounces when you pump, don't worry! your baby is probably getting a lot more.

if you are sick, you don't have to pump

the FDA even suggests it, but it doesn't make sense. if you are ill, you have already been contagious sometimes days before you start showing symptoms of illness; so if your baby is going to get sick, he's going to get sick. what's most important is that he is receiving milk directly from the breast, to provide the best immunity. plus, whenever you get sick, you are giving those antibodies to your baby, so that he has less of a chance of getting sick. don't bottle feed. if it makes you feel better, kiss less. but it's really not necessary. ;)

it's better to get used to doing it in public

whether you do it with a cover, or choose to go to a more discreet area, breast over bottle is always better. first off, breast milk starts losing some of its nutrients within five minutes of being pumped. second, it’s about freedom, convenience, and support -- in 46 states it is you and your child’s legal right to breastfeed in public. it is very inconvenient to have to go to the car, a different room away from everyone else, or god-forbid a bathroom toilet [disgusting!] to breastfeed your child. and whenever you breastfeed your child in public, you are supporting other women who do so, and helping make it the norm in america, which is what we are desperate for! third, for every meal your baby doesn't get at your breast, you are telling your body they just don't need it right now. every woman's body is different, but some adjust accordingly very quickly, which can cause you to dry up quicker than you may want. and so, also remember...

if you are substituting with formula, you will produce less

if a mother is feeding her baby formula because someone is telling her she is not producing enough milk, her body will continue to produce only what milk the baby is eating, because her body is adapting to what it thinks the baby needs. if you feel you are not producing enough, nurse often. your body will learn. do not substitute. very rarely is it actually necessary to substitute with formula. which leads me to...

don't accidentally wean

i didn't know that at eight months, when i was about to start making solid meals a more regular thing, that i wasn't supposed to substitute a nursing meal. luckily, i had plenty of wise mamas who made me aware of this, and after just a couple meals, was more careful to breastfeed river first, and then offer a solid meal [or vice versa]. remember, as often as you're breastfeeding or skipping meals, your body will learn that's the new norm. so if just in a few days, you go hours between breastfeeding, but give a solid meal to your little one instead, your body will start to produce less milk, because it thinks your child is needing less milk. and it can happen quick, too. 

so in short, if you supplement, your body will learn to produce less, and if you feed more, your body will learn to produce more. and always keep in mind that pumping is not the same as breastfeeding, for both your baby and your body. [forgive me if i sound awfully repetitive, but i think this is such an important thing to know, especially if you are feeding on a schedule or are working outside the home!]

how river often asks to nurse:

enjoying [and find humor in] being a breastfeeding mom.

what you don't hear about breastfeeding: part 1

whenever i talk to expectant moms, there are so many things i want to say about breastfeeding. first, i am always curious as to whether or not someone will be breastfeeding -- but i never ask. as much as i am a lactivist, i think the question is horribly rude. i was asked this question so many times when i was pregnant by people i hardly knew, and although i never planned on doing anything but breastfeeding, the question bugged me. what if i am? what if i'm not? what does it matter to you? what bugged me more were the women who, after informing them that i certainly was breastfeeding, said, "it was just an awful experience for me. i only lasted two weeks." geez. well thanks for the encouragement.


so while i have very many things to say about breastfeeding, i try not to be in-your-face about it unless i know whoever i am talking to is interested in what i have to say. being pushy and annoying doesn't get anyone anywhere. being understanding and knowledgeable does. so here's what i would say to any mothers making the [best and most beautiful and wonderful!] decision to breastfeed.


breastfeeding is not always easy
especially if you did not grow up around breastfeeding mothers. my mom breastfed all of her children, and nearly all of her friends breastfed as well, and so i was used to seeing it and being around it. without even knowing i knew, i knew what a proper latch looked like, i knew what a good hold looked like, and to me, breastfeeding was [and is, of course] the most natural thing in the world. bottle feeding was always strange to me. [all of my mom's kids "nursed" their baby dolls when they were little. :)]


river nursed within ten minutes of being born and he had a great latch right away. the only "problem" i had with him was not knowing exactly where the nipple was, and so he would get a little frantic and sometimes it took a few minutes before he was nursing properly. sometimes he would accidentally fall off the breast and i would have to go through the ordeal of latching him on all over again. and for many months, i had to correct his lips by pulling them out, so they wouldn't be tucked under the nipple. all of these were just small bump in our journey.


the one time i had a lot of trouble latching him on was when he was one day old. for some reason, he was preferring my right side and absolutely could not find my left nipple. we tried for maybe twenty minutes. i was in tears. he could just not get it. it was the most heartbreaking, frustrating thing. and it was only for one night! the next day, everything was fine. but for some women, this is the case for a long time. it is easy to get discouraged -- but don't. in very rare cases is a baby not able to latch on, or do a woman's breasts not produce enough milk. our bodies were made to breastfeed. there are obstacles, but they can most always be overcome. god made your breasts for breastfeeding your children -- and you are not broken. it's important to keep in mind that any problems with breastfeeding are most likely temporary.


sometimes, it just hurts
i was told so many times before i had river, "if it hurts, you're doing something wrong." while pain is a big indicator that your baby may not be latched on properly, sometimes it just hurts because it hurts. my entire pregnancy, my nipples were extremely sensitive. i couldn't stand it when i put a shirt on and the fabric lightly brushed up against my chest, because it hurt so bad. so when river was born, it took time for that pregnancy symptom to go away, and breastfeeding was very painful for about two and a half months. i had my midwife check river's latch and we were both doing everything right. but it was still painful. the pain will not last forever, and some women don't experience pain at all. sometimes it just takes more time for your nipples to toughen up.


early breastfeeding made me feel nauseous
i was totally not expecting this one! in the early stages of breastfeeding [birth to about three months] whenever i would start feeding river, i would get nauseous and light-headed and felt like i needed a drink NOW! it wasn't a feeling that lasted long, and it was never that bad, i just didn't feel right. i looked it up, and it's actually pretty common. this is your body telling you it needs more of something -- in my case, fluids. when i got a drink, i was fine. remember, your body is first taking care of your baby. you need to eat and drink enough for yourself and that other tiny little body! 


i know i'm the queen of having "part one" blog posts, and never posting the other parts...but this time i swear i have more! i just don't want to scare people away by writing a novel. ;)