a blessed christmas

we are so lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing friends and family. i feel like i'm living in one of those sappy christmas movies. if it weren't for the people we are so stinking blessed to have in our lives, this tree would have nothing underneath it. and literally, this morning we weren't sure how we were going to pay our rent in a few days, and by the time we finished opening christmas cards, we had enough for rent plus $20 extra. i'm at the point now where i don't know what to say. i don't know how to thank people enough for taking care of us, for being the church to us. it is a humbling experience, and lord knows i can't wait for the day it's our turn to be the church in this way.

i am overwhelmed by the love of god, and this christmas the beauty and magnitude of his gift of jesus has been very real to me, more so than any christmas in the past. becoming a parent has given me a new glimpse of the love he has for us. i think the strongest, fiercest love on earth is the love a parent has for their child. he loves us enough to have given us his son. if words can even begin to explain how beautiful this is, he has also chosen this love as an example of his love for us, by calling us his children. just thinking about it, not even fully grasping it just makes me want to weep. and i am so undeserving of everything i have. and he has done so much. despite my grumbling and complaining and lack of faith in him.

one of my favorite names for god is jehovah jireh -- my provider. how he proves it over and over.

i know life can get hard and sometimes it is so painful that you feel your heart in your throat and you feel like you are about to spill over. it was never promised to us that this life will be easy or comfortable. that is why i am glad i have christ in my life. i am so thankful i have that security in him. that when i don't have control of things going on in my life, i know he is in control.


praise him who reigns.