5.20.2010

what i want my life to look like

i was adamant this new year to come up with resolutions that i would follow, and they were as follows: take at least one picture a day, draw a new face each week, start running, and read thirty books. because these are things i want to change in my life. i wanted to read, because i love learning, and reading encourages me to be more creative. i wanted to draw a new face every day, because i want to push myself with the pencil, i want to get in the habit of starting drawings and actually finish them. i wanted to run because i want an activity to get myself in shape, and i want that feeling of freedom and exuberance running seems to give people. i wanted to take a photograph a day because i hadn't done a lot of personal photography in the past year or so, and i wanted to challenge myself to see through new eyes.

so far, so good -- at least when you look at my track record with keeping new year's resolutions. i once again have dove into photography; i am finding myself swimming in new colors, new light, and allowing myself to see my life as more beautiful through the camera lens than if i were to just pass every day without trying to find that beauty. i am reading more -- which, unfortunately, isn't saying much. i love to read, but i'm a slow reader, and actually finishing a book is not something i do often. i have read four books this year, and am currently working to finish three more. my problem is not having the money to purchase the books i want to read, or having the time to go to a bookstore for hours [ohh, how i would love to be able to do that again]. hmm, i guess i need to pay my library fine. i've given up trying to draw, and so far i haven't had the motivation to get out and just run. maybe by the end of the year. maybe not.

these are things i wanted to change about my life. i strive for something different than just living day to day. i don't want to except my life as it is. i don't want something mundane. i want to write my story. and it's possible, really, to write just about any story i want. i just have to get out there and do it. so the other day i thought, if my life could look like anything, how would i want that to be? and what do i have to do to change that?

the things i strive for are simple, really. if i put minimal time and effort into adding -- or changing -- it can be done.

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