10.17.2009

funny how the little things


today was one of those days that just made me so thankful for the life i have right now, the blessings god has given, and the smooth ride it's been. i'm sort of a pessimistic person and most of the time expect the worse, but things have been so good. my anxiety that a doctor told me is the reason for the heart palpitations i've had since i was seventeen went away when i was pregnant. i didn't worry about tomorrow. i think it had to do with just succumbing to what was happening to my body, knowing there was nothing i could do about it, and trying not to give my ailments the time of day. [i'm talking about the physical changes my body went through, like morning sickness, not the growing river inside me - that, i didn't mind at all, of course.] since river was born, however, i feel my anxiety slowly creeping up at times. i try to catch it before it does any real damage. i have to constantly remind myself of the verse that says "for who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (luke 12:25 NIV) and "are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? yet not one of them is forgotten by god." (luke 12:6)


[oh, i just love the thought of god loving and looking after a tiny sparrow, and knowing each one that falls to the ground.]



there wasn't anything particularly special about today. i got to spend the whole day with john, which i love doing - he is my {{best}} friend. we went around town shooting places in san antonio for a website, and at the end of the day, stopped to get a hot drink and listened to a bit of live acoustic music for about thirty minutes. river was so sick of being in his carseat all day, and was content to be held for a good while before he decided he was hungry. i still have not gotten comfortable nursing in public, but i sucked it up and nursed him there, outside, while listening to the music and sipping coffee. it was such a nice feeling, knowing that i could calm my little boy in such a way, that he was warm and comfortable and full in my arms. the air was cool and there was a nice breeze and the music, the cinnamon coffee, my baby, his cute little striped sweater, the damien rice cover, the autumn air appropriately placed in the middle of an october (good job, south texas. you did it.), my husband sitting across from me - just made me feel blessed.


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