8.08.2009

river's due date

Today is officially River's due date... not that he's coming today. I haven't felt impatient until this past week. Of course, I've been looking forward to my baby's birthday the whole pregnancy -- but now it's so close, seeing his face and holding his little body and taking care of him is more of a reality. I can't wait to just stare at him and feel like my heart is going to explode with love for him. I can't wait for that feeling. I feel already that this little boy is somehow going to complete me. I have wanted to be a mommy since I was teeny. I have always wanted to devote my life to my someday-children. Now I can. I don't think there's anything I want more.

I think all the time of the things I will do with him when he's a newborn, when he's a toddler, when he's a kid. Some of them are...well, kind of dumb. Like blowing in his face. Have you ever blown in an infant's face before? It's hilarious. Or giving him his first taste of a lemon. Making him laugh. Watching him do funny little things. When my brother was barely two, he slipped on my mom's huge 90s glasses, sat in his mini-recliner, crossed his legs, and opened a book to look at the pictures. It was so funny. All these little things, I want to record, write down, photograph, and remember forever. I can't wait to take pictures of him. His little toes, his hands, his baby butt, his fat rolls, his hair. I hope he's born with a lot of hair. I hope he has John's hair -- dark and curly.

When he gets older, I can't wait to teach him everything he needs to know. I can't wait to homeschool him. I can't wait to teach him how to read, his colors, his numbers. I can't wait to do crafts with him, let him finger-paint, play in the mud, get messy with shaving cream just because, let him "help" me make dinner. I want to paint a wall in his room with chalkboard paint and let him color on his walls. I want to do crafts with him, take him to the park, get him a puppy (uh... get us a puppy), continue Christmas traditions with him, throw birthday parties for him, give him a mohawk, buy him little Chucks.

I can't wait to teach him music, encourage him to be creative. Take him to Guitar Center to try out the drum sets, strum some acoustic guitars. (Maybe Daddy can even teach him some of the technical stuff that I will never understand,like synthesizers and sound boards.) And yes, I am even looking forward to getting him into sports: soccer, softball, football (as much as I can't stand football).

I'm not rushing you River...but just know that I am really looking forward to officially meeting you.

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